Bottom it is.

Recently read articles about Relationships and Money in The Simple Dollar that caught my attention. Excepts below.

From Inspiring Others to Financial Responsibility Without Being Preachy:

Wait for their “bottom,” then gently offer help. Although a low point can often be incredibly painful, it can also be an incredibly valuable learning experience for people. It is at that point that a person realizes, for the first time, that they’re following a path that doesn’t work. It’s at that time when they look around them and see who their true friends are, as they are the ones who are willing to help them at this low point. That’s when your help will really matter. That’s when a helping hand won’t cause resentment, but will be appreciated. That’s when it’ll build into something more than just a quick fix.

From What Is the "Bottom"?:

They have to bottom out for themselves. It’s an internal thing, where you finally accept that there’s something wrong in your life that needs to be fixed. Some people will reach that point much more easily than others.

Until then, any help you give someone on a downward trajectory will just prolong that downward trajectory. If you think a drug addict has bottomed out and you give them some help, but they haven’t bottomed out yet in their own mind, they’re very likely to use your help to further their downward spiral. The same thing happens for anyone on a downward spiral of any kind. If you help someone that hasn’t reached their bottom yet, your help will mostly just prolong their downward slide.

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Of course, we always want the best for our loved ones. We will help as long as it is within our power. Even if it isn't, we will look for ways to make sure they are provided for. But helping others financially has always been a dilemma. It's difficult to determine if giving is actually helping or doing more harm than good.

For now, I guess this is the road I'm taking. I'm not sure if this is the right option but I'm willing to give it a shot. It breaks my heart to not help but if this will make you trust God more and make you grow into the person God wants you to be then so be it. As Ate Cherry puts it, Don't Play God in your loved one's lives.

From Paper to Electronic Envelopes

I've always been OC when it comes to budgeting. I had to make sure I have everything covered otherwise, we will not eat and my brothers will not go to school. Among the items in my list are Tithes, Bills (Electricity, Water, Cellphone Load, Phone and Internet, Rent, Tuition, Medicard), Food, Transportation, Allowances and Maintenance Expense. (Did you notice? No savings. I'm having hard time allocating money for savings then. Thank God, things have changed.)

I remember how I started, way back when internet banking is not yet accessible to me. I used a small notebook to keep track of all the money that comes out of my coin purse (I don't have a wallet. I find it complicated to use.) I also have a number of envelopes.  And every payday, I put in money in those envelopes. Every envelop is labeled according to my budget categories. Money will only be taken out of these envelops when the schedule to spend the allocated money has come.

Nowadays, there's electronic banking. When payday comes, one just has to log on and pay bills online. Others have it on automatic deduction so they won't even have to think about it. Savings and the rest of the bills that are being paid on larger time intervals can be transferred and kept on separate accounts. All other expenses that are being spent on a day-to-day basis can be kept on the payroll account and can be withdrawn at will (provided what the ATM is online). If you want an audit of these bank transactions, you can always ask for a bank statement (of course it will not audit how much money you spent on buying soy sauce, but I think you know what I mean :P). To top that, did you know that one can open a bank account that comes with Life insurance? Yes, there is. :)

One might say, but I don't even have enough money to budget. True. I agree. I was in the same position then. Back in the time when I'm putting money in those envelopes, I always pray that God would multiply it because my salary is not enough, based on my computation. But month after month, I noticed, we were never in lack. Time came when we even have extra money to finally put into savings. :) As mentioned in the Word, "You have been faithful in a few things. I will put you in charge of many things." I believe that still holds today. So just keep on putting money into those envelopes and be the steward God wants you to be.

Invest In You

I've recently read an article that gives tips on what to do with a tax refund (not that employees have efficient tax refunds in the Philippines). I just might use Mary Hunt's suggestions when I get my mid-year bonus, 13th-month pay or whatever incentives I get from my good "deeds". Below are her suggestions:

1. Treat it like a paycheck.
2. Put it to your contingency or freedom account.
3. Fund your retirement.
4. Reduce your credit card debt.
5. Replace a failing furniture/appliance.
6. Get car maintenance.
7. Buy necessary sale items in bulk.
8. Invest in You

Invest in You? She even added:

What do you need: a trip to the dentist; a couple of hours with a good therapist; a day at the spa? If that renews your joy, it might be the best money you've ever spent.

I'm quite sure I'm not alone in my surprise. For breadwinners, spending money on some of these luxuries for ourselves were unnecessary and impractical. There are times we thought we need it, but we put it off because we thought we can spend the money on something more important. Most likely, the moment we get around doing it is when there's an absolute need for it or when we're at an emotional low that we tend to spend impulsively.

But you know what? It just dawned on me. It's okay to treat yourself. You need to take care of yourself. Rewarding yourself for all your hard work makes you more efficient and creative. Feeling good about yourself puts you in a better position to take on challenges.

Hmmm! I think I should go out and shop and get myself a cellophane. As Samantha Jones of Sex in the City put it, "Let's go spend some of my hard-earned, Hollywood money." You deserve it.